moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
