she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
