Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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