the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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