I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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