Please, let me fuck your mom
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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