I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
