Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
