We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
