My room smells like vodka and shame
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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