talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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