if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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