ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
