I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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