Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
