i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
