Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Panties = found
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