I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
