So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
