Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
