I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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