I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
