She announced her abortion via fbk
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
