Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
