Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You've changed since you got that strap on
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
