Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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