Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
