just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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