so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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