Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
