:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
