Non-Jews are for practice
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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