she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize