Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
