he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Sext me about skeletons
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
