My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
