I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
