I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize