I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
