sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
