In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize