nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
His nipple licking is glorious
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