If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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