I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
