She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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