dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
