I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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