I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The best revenge is premature balding
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
