your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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