she smelled like a LAN party
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize