Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
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Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
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I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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