Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
