Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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