I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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