My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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