i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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