we're blogging at a bar
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
