I molested 6 butterflies tonight
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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