Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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