it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Please don't give away my fajitas
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
