i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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