I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize