; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
time to smoke my breakfast
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
