I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Randomize
