the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
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